Ups and downs

Listening another comp. "Must go faster". A comp of very fast and up songs to drive/motivate/cheer up to. Like say "I wanna be a nudist" by Regurgitator and "Ty Cobb" by Soundgarden, and "Dirty Beats" by Roni Size and Reprazent.

Realised a couple of things this week.

1. I am somewhat stressed. The primary cause of that stress is my job.
2. I am merely doing my job properly for the sake of professionalism and perfectionism, not because I am actually interested in it anymore.
3. My head has a big bundle of negative energy (I can actually feel the tension between my eyes. Feels like a sinus headache) in it at the moment, which expresses by popping up terrifying thoughts at random moments.
4. This scared me until I realised it is just my brain trying to unload.
5. However, this has not stopped me from being worried about being stressed, which doesn't really help matters.

I am determined to find a new job, and actually do it this time, not like three or four other times I have said that in the past couple of years. If any of you who know me personally come across anything that strikes you as perfect for me, let me know. Tips, suggestions welcome.
Something that lets me not work nights and weekends preferred.

Had a good game of netball tonight. OK, so the opposition was all inexperienced girls on the court (where were their menfolk?), and they were all shorter than me, so in a sense it was clubbing baby seals, but it was the endorphinic game I needed.

I have been notified that I now form a small part of the ever interesting spanblather. Thank you span, I hope I don't disappoint. That goes for any spannerers that journey here from there.

Welcome.