On the band wagon

Listening to: Gramsci-Permanence

Jumping on the bandwagon to rave about how the Transformers movie actually isn't terrible, and is actually good in a big dumb fun escapist way.

But first:

How to tell if you are watching a Michael Bay movie

1. There are only three times of day: Noon, sunset, and night. Twilight does not exist.
2. Actors will utter cheesy terrible dialogue with great seriousness and profundity.
3. If possible, there are helicopters. Often black, with no identifying insignia.
4. There will be at least one or more shots where the screen is dominated by the colour orange (also a feature of Jerry Bruckheimer productions). The sunset comes in handy for this.
5. Any kind of road convoy will be accompanied by very low flying helicopters.
6. Anything that is high-tech (or is perceived to be high-tech) will be made to appear sexy.
7. There will be a freeway chase.
8. There will be a downtown action scene.
9. Any aerial craft will be flying far lower than needed to perform its mission, or performing spectacular but unnecessary manouvres.
10. Irony and subtlety will be missing in action. Along with meaningful character development.
11. There will be a slow motion hero shot.
12. The plot will at times make no sense, but is spectacular nonetheless.
13. Explosions will be large, but enable nearby protagonists to shrug off a light coating of debris and continue.

With these misgivings in mind, I was pleasantly surprised by 'Transformers'. Maybe it is the Dreamworks influence, but I enjoyed it. There was a definite sense of not taking itself too seriously. The script was not too bad, with a lot of humour (at times almost unexpectedly subversive) that really added to it, lowering the cheese ratio; this is a kids movie for grown-ups. And the on screen transformations are really cool. My favourite was the Optimus Prime freeway showdown.

And who doesn't want a car that can look out for you and change into a giant robot? Although I'm not sure you'd want to take it on a date. It would be kinda wierd if you and your date wound up in the backseat of your sentient guardian.

I was a little confused by the helicopter Decepticon. In its original 80's incarnation it was an Autobot.

Also notable from the plane oriented perspective was the big screen debut of a bunch of interesting hardware (in an actually filmed and not CG'd way), most notably the V-22 Osprey (the odd tilt rotor things at the start), and the F-22 Raptor (Starscream, and the friendly lookalikes, currently the hottest jet around anywhere). Likely the last time we will see an F-117 Nighthawk (the original 'Stealth fighter') in a movie as it is on the verge of being retired after 25 odd years in service (making my point about perceived high-tech; it was designed in the seventies).
AirForce One is apparently a Transfomer as well. In the air it is a Boeing 747. On the ground it becomes a 707......right, thats enough geekery.

Clearly the movie had massive US military cooperation, almost like they were looking for some good PR.....

So really Transformers is a quite good movie. However I still want the five hours of my life back that I lost watching Pearl Harbour and The Island.

Speaking of good PR, in an awkwardly segueing way that doesn't quite work, I urge you to check out this youtube link posted by the undulating ungulate.

Outstanding stuff.