The Art of Nails

Listening to: Further down the spiral-Nine Inch Nails

A brief primer to the sport of Nails

As introduced to this land by a certain WA Reptile

The equipment required is illustrated below:

In this case, the game board is close to ideal size, however any flat circular wooden surface wider than a dozen centimeters can be used if required, provided the surface to be struck is end grain.

Once willing players are found, each can choose a nail for themselves, and marks it by placing a finger upon it. This is important, as it signifies to the player which nail must remain standing in order to win the game, and of course which nail the player should avoid hitting.
Here the nails have been chosen, and the hammer is visible being elevated ready for starting player selection:

The hammer is spun to select the starting player:
Once play commences, three throw options are available to the player:
1. Straight in front. When successfully completed this awards one hit.
2. Under the leg. When successfully completed this awards two hits.
3. Behind the back. While the most difficult, this awards the player three hits.

To successfully complete a throw, the hammer must complete at least one 360 degree evolution in the air, before being caught on the handle only. Catching above the handle or dropping the hammer forfeits the throw, and the player must consume the amount of drinks being competed for. The hammer must be thrown, caught, and wielded in one continuous movement. Pauses for target selection and grip adjustment are not permitted, and will result in a forfeit of the turn, and commensurate consumption of drinks.

If successful, the player can hit the nail(s) of their choice. If the nail is struck, that nails player hit must consume one drink. If the nail is not struck, the wielding player must consume one drink.

If a nail is struck and sparks are generated, all players must consume one drink.

If a nail has been struck so that either; 1. A fingernail cannot be inserted under the complete circumference of the nail head or 2. the nail does not cast a shadow, that nails player is eliminated and takes no further part in the game.

Disagreements regarding eliminations can be referred to the other players for adjudication.

When all but one nails have been eliminated, the owner of the last nail standing is declared the winner.

Here the In Front, and Behind The Back throwing techniques are being demonstrated:

Safety equipment can be employed if available, but is not mandatory. Here two players demonstrate correct use of safety equipment:

The following pictures demonstrate correct hammer holding technique and general gameplay:

For added interest, the game board may be soaked in beer. This has been shown to both aid accuracy and increase spectator participation via the splash effect when a nail is struck:

Although entertaining, repeated rounds of nails combined with beering the board can quickly decrease the amount of beer available:

This concludes the description of the basic Nails game.

Other variants of the basic game suitable for more advanced players have been discussed if not yet evaluated:

Big Bang Nails

Each nail is coated in gunpowder prior to gameplay commencing, crowned by a capgun style explosive cap. Recommended for night-time competitions.

Strip Nails

May be employed when the beer runs out. Single throws only allowed, with items of clothing removed replacing drinks consumed

Run-up nails

Players are allowed to stand at some remove from the board, and approach the board at a run to deliver their strikes. The hammer must remain in motion at all times, preferably in a Pete Townshend arm windmilling action.

John Woo nails

Two hammers are employed, one in each hand. Simultaneous throws double the amount of hits on offer. An extra hit is awarded if strikes are delivered while diving sideways toward the game board. Delivering strikes with the hammer held sideways will result in a turn forfeit.

Industrial Super Heavy Duty Action nails

Employs railroad spikes and 10 pound sledgehammers, and ideally a fir tree stump or larger. Handle restrictions relaxed to include the whole handle, as there is no separate grip for these hammers. All basic throws allowed. For expert players only.

Happy Nailing everyone!